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Buses in London

In the old days, getting around London was a piece of cake; you just hopped on a bus, grabbed the taxi or the Tube, and away you went. These days it's not quite as simple as that. If you're in a hurry to visit the incall flat of a cute London escort girl, you might well find that London public transport is making your job more difficult rather than helping you get there. Taxis are expensive and never around when you need them, the Tube is packed and uncomfortable. London buses tend to be the same - and what's more, they've started getting more expensive. London buses have really changed over the past few years. The old red Routemaster buses - which, over their lifetimes, have taken many a distinguished client to an incall or outcall organised by an exclusive London escort agency - have now been almost completely phased out. Although they remain a symbol of London, they were getting old and in no way met modern environmental regulations. You can still travel on a Routemaster on certain "heritage" routes in central London, notably if you're in the West End in and around the areas of Trafalgar Square and Aldwych. If you're thinking of catching one of the London buses on your way to meet a sexy pair of bisexual blonde, brunette or redhead London escorts, you'll find that it will probably still be red. It might not, however, be a double-decker: many London buses these days are articulated single deckers. This is a shame, because the top decks of buses were great places from which to look down on the sexy girls of London Town, especially during the summer when they're all wandering around in low-cut tops. There is some speculation that London's mayor, Ken Livingstone, has deliberately phased out double deckers in order to discourage this activity, as a part of his wider policy of encouraging Londoners to spend their entire lives sat in communal soup kitchens reading Das Kapital. To the uninitiated, London buses can be just a touch confusing, so it's worth planning your journey before you set out. If, for example, you're travelling from a Mayfair or Park Lane hotel to see a London escort in Marylebone or Kensington and Chelsea, there's a good chance that you might have to make a change. Study the timetables carefully and before long you should be approaching the incall flat of the sexy young callgirl that you've booked for the day. Fail to study the timetable and you'll probably find yourself approaching Tilbury, where there are very, very few high class London escort girls and the only thing to do on a Saturday night is collect the serial numbers of shipping containers.

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